Wed, 18th

Well skipped a day since I was very busy trying to put together a study guide for my next 3 days of testing with Delta. I'm not sure what they're thinking, but this isn't going to be as easy as the first 3 days of testing was. I'm going to try and relax or I'll lose my mind over this. There was also a rumor told to me that "sort of" put a little fear in me for a moment. I'm hearing we may get laid off in January. That would just figure since I only returned to work this summer and the one and ONLY goal here was to take my daughter FINALLY on a little vacation. I only get a week off as it is, and though the dream was to take her to Greece for the first time to meet our relatives, but that's not going to happen (a week's just not long enough) so I thought, ok, we'll head to LA where I may get a chance to take her to a live Jimmy Kimmel show and meet whatever stars on on that night (I know someone who works on that show) but now if we lose our jobs, guess what? NO VACATION again. I feel awful, this little girl has got nothing from me in the way of gifts or trips in 11 years (and she's only 17). I feel awful (thank God her dad has taken her camping at least) which for me is NOT a vacation, but it's better than nothing I suppose. So today, I'm going to work hard (pray harder) that I do not fall into a 'self pity' trip. I know that everything is in the right time, though sometimes I do think 11 years is long and this thing called "having patience" isnt' always easy. I'm trying so hard to find that "one"kind person on that singles web site and it's NOT easy. I'm starting to think that because I'm not "blood" I don't matter to anyone and then I tell myself - STOP don't think or feel that. I'm NOT like that, and all it takes is ONE other loving, good hearted person - that's all it takes!!!!!
In the meantime, the good news is my good friend from Florida finally called me. She lost everything last year (their money, home, and all possessions) to Madolff (yep) - and then her "blood" relatives turned their backs on her too (figures right? she had money) - and now she has nothing! But she HAS ME! I showed her for years I never cared she was weathly (because I didn't) and she finally saw that - and now she needs major back surgery and guess what? she called to ask if I could and would help her! and of course I will! She hopefully will be coming in January for it and if it takes a year then so be it. I'll figure out a way to help her and I'm sure I can feed her! Shame on her family right? But I'm glad she sees who loves her and that's what I pray will stick with her and her son forever (and her husband) who she will be leaving in Alaska while he's trying so hard as well to work and get on their feet again. I believe she'll bounce back, but who cares this is NOT about money (honestly it never was) but I've learned these 11 years of struggle we do need the darn thing to live and enjoy a little (something I miss for sure). She now is feeling it too, but thank God she has me :)
So if you guys (both of you on here) are following - pray for Debra and her husband and son who also was adopted! (love that kid) - this will be a major challenge when the time comes for her to get this surgery!

Back to looking for that one special person now - be back tomrrow!!!
(smiling now)

Yana - Editor