Yes, Julie (from the movie Julie/Julia) wrote me back on facebook! How sweet and kind is she? Ok guys, this gives me "more than" hope - I truly believe now in American's now since she's the first person who doesn't know me, isn't related to me, and by everyone's standards, having had a blog which turned into a book and eventually a movie would consider a person that probably wouldn't talk to a "nobody" (that would be me) but guess what? She did! and not only that - she even gave me suggestions and a little "how to use the computer for blogging". Though it went over my head naturally since I'm not computer savy at all, it was still a blessing to have her write me! Maybe this means that my dream of one day having Rosie O'Donnel write or talk to me one day happen too! I'm not putting limits to my dream of "making it America" - I also don't care that I'm a woman of a certain age (ah who cares, I'm now 50 and proud!) One day I'll be 60 and 50 will be but a past dream, so I'm going to make it all it can be! I'm a flight attendant who is 50 and loves everyone! How many people can honestly say that? I know I have this "odd" heart - this heart that doesn't seem to ever experience hate (not to say I don't feel anger, I do) but it usually turns to hurt and always goes back to love! I've never experienced hate (don't know what it feels like) and honestly don't want to know! I have a belief and a faith that surpasses anything else so why wouldn't this all come together for me one day! I know God's timing is NOT mine, and I know it's been 11 LONG years since my divorce and I've suffered more than I care to even share, but it's not stopped me from belieiving and it's certainly not stopped me from believing in the human race and their giving natures too! Why can't or won't I find one person who will extend a hand to me without some weird motive behind it? I know people are telling me to be careful, that men esp will want something in return (ok, sex) but I have to believe all I need to find is ONE good person and it doesn't have to be a man, look Julie wrote me back and she's certainly not a man! Of course I wrote her first, but how else would she even know I'm out here? She wouldn't so hence the singles sight to find that "one loving american". I could also look at women, but I wonder if they will think I'm hitting on them? I think I'll start with men trusting they'll see my heart and see I've a lot to offer! Who knows, I could be a sales person for someone and I know I'd be great at that since I proved it by working at LandRover only one day and selling 3 vehicles! Who does that? And the best part was I did that by being honest, loving, kind and of course HUGGING! So I could sell - I'm going to write a list of what I'm good at - ok, it's limited to hugging, loving, sharing and selling, but I could also run a business/store! I'm a hard worker and who wouldn't like to have their own business? Maybe a wine store (ok, a little dream there) or I could find that right person who will help me with my invention and make it a reality - once that's done heck, I could sell it to QVC (no problem) :) I have confidence, LOL (or I'm just in denial and speak like a crazy person) either way, it has to be a good thing right? I'm NOT a failure no matter what my ex husband may think or say, a failure is a person who gives up and dies - and I'm not dead yet! I believe, I pray, I try to "do" what I can and I'm searching this new avenue! It would be different if I came on line just to chat with strangers accomplishing nothing, but I'm not - and I thank Julie for writing me and for pursuing her venture as well - it worked for her, so why couldn't it work for me too? :)Ok so this is what I did the rest of the day:I spent a good portion of my time on the singles sight looking for that "one great heart in America" to mentor me and I came across someone who said he was a consultant?
What's a consultant? I could do that! I'm a consultant on the planes - my passengers listen to me, they laugh with me, they always pay attention to what I have to share, and when I do the demo they always watch and applaud when it's done! Would I be a good consultant? How do I get to be one? Does it also mean I sell? I wonder what a consultant is?
This is getting fun - I even sent a message to a sergeon who said he also writes books and even made a screen play at Sundance (ok so the man has many talents) Can't wait to see if he responds to my e-mail. I wonder how many days, weeks or months will this be before I find that one person to reach out to me?
Now I'm starting to wonder, how many people really do have a great, loving, open and kind heart like me? I've always felt (not in an egotistical way) that I've never met another heart like mine until I started listening to Michael Jackson's share's. I believe he was very innocent on the inside, and had a pure (child-like) heart. I really do. I feel he may be the only one who has what I believe God gave me as a gift. I have sent probably in the first 4 days now at least 50 e-mails and so far only one person has made me an offer to work, but I think it would be working hard again and making little and keeping him wealthy. This isn't what I want any longer. I know I'm a hard/good worker - but I want to work smart and put in less effort and give love and bring home a LOT of money now so I can in turn help others. There has to be someone who will take me under their wing, there just has to be :)
I'm not giving up - besides I have Lana (my daughter) to fight for - she IS the reason for doing this deep down along with the foster children who I seem to love. I hope a stranger finds my blog and reads this too. I want to feel I'm making a difference to someone (even one). I'm believing in that too - FIND ME
Yana - Editor
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