Missed typing yesterday since I got caught up in the drama (or runors) at work, and then I come on here only to post my blog and it didn't go thru (what's up with that?) so I took a deep breath and left the computer - and now I'll just write something short "to feel better". I don't know if you're reading Tracy or my new friend from the singles site, but if you are, I'll try not to bore either of you. I had heard we would be losing our jobs in January and I felt sorry for myself since I just returned this summer - but today I see they're offering leaves for 4 months (which I won't take) but thank God that's all (or at least I hope that's all) it is.
I'm coming to realize that looking on a dating site of all places to find my mentor is HARD WORK. Here I'm getting these extra days off and "should be" studying for my test in January, but I'm spending literally 12 or more hours a day reaching out to total strangers getting no where and then I have to remind myself, "ok I'm looking for ONE GOOD AMERICAN" and more than that actually (since there are many good ones) I need one who is in a place to actually help me out, which (esp in this economy) is even harder to find. Of course this is work and will take patience and time right? But I think the reason I'm a little disheartened is because I'm not even getting much in the way of advice though today a very nice guy I've been chatting with said I'd be great to work for a hotel! Being the person who puts together parties and weddings. I agree, but in Michigan that's not a good idea, but it is a great thought for sure since I love people and they love me. Now to figure out how I could take great ideas like that and make them happen??? still baffeling, LOL
In the meantime, I'm helping out a great friend that just came back to my life. She is doing well but we still have a way to go (therapy). Yes, I'm good at helping others in that arena too but unless I have a degree who will hire me to make money? no one, so I just give assistance thru 12 step work (but at least I save them money if nothing else) -
Also, I'll be helping my good friend with a home soon. She is coming from Alaska to have major surgery (back) and I will help her get on her feet. This may happen in January and she may be here a year - but I don't mind. That's what real friends do and her family turned their backs on her (can you imagine?) again, BLOOD means nothing - she lost her money so her family "set her free" well you know what? I love her and never wanted a thing from her and now I can help her again and I will! :)
So with that - I feel I'm on the right path and will end - hoping tomorrow someone will also help even me :)
BELIEVING (need to get a tatoo with that on it I think)
Yana - Editor
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Wed, 18th
Well skipped a day since I was very busy trying to put together a study guide for my next 3 days of testing with Delta. I'm not sure what they're thinking, but this isn't going to be as easy as the first 3 days of testing was. I'm going to try and relax or I'll lose my mind over this. There was also a rumor told to me that "sort of" put a little fear in me for a moment. I'm hearing we may get laid off in January. That would just figure since I only returned to work this summer and the one and ONLY goal here was to take my daughter FINALLY on a little vacation. I only get a week off as it is, and though the dream was to take her to Greece for the first time to meet our relatives, but that's not going to happen (a week's just not long enough) so I thought, ok, we'll head to LA where I may get a chance to take her to a live Jimmy Kimmel show and meet whatever stars on on that night (I know someone who works on that show) but now if we lose our jobs, guess what? NO VACATION again. I feel awful, this little girl has got nothing from me in the way of gifts or trips in 11 years (and she's only 17). I feel awful (thank God her dad has taken her camping at least) which for me is NOT a vacation, but it's better than nothing I suppose. So today, I'm going to work hard (pray harder) that I do not fall into a 'self pity' trip. I know that everything is in the right time, though sometimes I do think 11 years is long and this thing called "having patience" isnt' always easy. I'm trying so hard to find that "one"kind person on that singles web site and it's NOT easy. I'm starting to think that because I'm not "blood" I don't matter to anyone and then I tell myself - STOP don't think or feel that. I'm NOT like that, and all it takes is ONE other loving, good hearted person - that's all it takes!!!!!
In the meantime, the good news is my good friend from Florida finally called me. She lost everything last year (their money, home, and all possessions) to Madolff (yep) - and then her "blood" relatives turned their backs on her too (figures right? she had money) - and now she has nothing! But she HAS ME! I showed her for years I never cared she was weathly (because I didn't) and she finally saw that - and now she needs major back surgery and guess what? she called to ask if I could and would help her! and of course I will! She hopefully will be coming in January for it and if it takes a year then so be it. I'll figure out a way to help her and I'm sure I can feed her! Shame on her family right? But I'm glad she sees who loves her and that's what I pray will stick with her and her son forever (and her husband) who she will be leaving in Alaska while he's trying so hard as well to work and get on their feet again. I believe she'll bounce back, but who cares this is NOT about money (honestly it never was) but I've learned these 11 years of struggle we do need the darn thing to live and enjoy a little (something I miss for sure). She now is feeling it too, but thank God she has me :)
So if you guys (both of you on here) are following - pray for Debra and her husband and son who also was adopted! (love that kid) - this will be a major challenge when the time comes for her to get this surgery!
Back to looking for that one special person now - be back tomrrow!!!
(smiling now)
Yana - Editor
In the meantime, the good news is my good friend from Florida finally called me. She lost everything last year (their money, home, and all possessions) to Madolff (yep) - and then her "blood" relatives turned their backs on her too (figures right? she had money) - and now she has nothing! But she HAS ME! I showed her for years I never cared she was weathly (because I didn't) and she finally saw that - and now she needs major back surgery and guess what? she called to ask if I could and would help her! and of course I will! She hopefully will be coming in January for it and if it takes a year then so be it. I'll figure out a way to help her and I'm sure I can feed her! Shame on her family right? But I'm glad she sees who loves her and that's what I pray will stick with her and her son forever (and her husband) who she will be leaving in Alaska while he's trying so hard as well to work and get on their feet again. I believe she'll bounce back, but who cares this is NOT about money (honestly it never was) but I've learned these 11 years of struggle we do need the darn thing to live and enjoy a little (something I miss for sure). She now is feeling it too, but thank God she has me :)
So if you guys (both of you on here) are following - pray for Debra and her husband and son who also was adopted! (love that kid) - this will be a major challenge when the time comes for her to get this surgery!
Back to looking for that one special person now - be back tomrrow!!!
(smiling now)
Yana - Editor
Monday, November 16, 2009
Mon-Nov 16, 09
Ok it's only been a few days and I'm already sad since no one's following me. Why should it matter anyway? I'm on here for myself really - Oprah always says to journal and I've never really done that. I like writing (writing a few books, but always tend to get that writers block and stop) so this IS rather refreshing if I think about it. Why do I "need" to be followed. I have my cool friend who read (at least the first two days) and that should be enough. I keep hoping that a stranger will come on too and read. Who will find me on here anyway? So I'm going to just keep on writing for myself and about these strangers who don't seem to be giving me much advice yet. Maybe I should realize that truthfully (unlike myself) maybe there are no real americans who care. I mean really, why should a stranger reach out and help me? I've always believed everyone has some motive deep down. If they're not getting something out of it, why would they want to help me? And I'm asking men since women don't ususally have opportunities to reach out and knowing men, they're going to only help me if they're attracted and maybe they're going to also want sex (which will NOT happen) and once they realize that, I'll be out the door, LOL (shit)
Ok, today is a depressing one :(
But I'm going to pray and allow the Lord to fill me back up with hope and a dream! Besides, I am an optimistic type, so why should I let this bother me. It's not like I'm not working at all :)
See - Just made myself smile already
Goodnite -
Yana - Editor
Ok, today is a depressing one :(
But I'm going to pray and allow the Lord to fill me back up with hope and a dream! Besides, I am an optimistic type, so why should I let this bother me. It's not like I'm not working at all :)
See - Just made myself smile already
Goodnite -
Yana - Editor
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Julie WROTE me - Sun/11/15/09
Yes, Julie (from the movie Julie/Julia) wrote me back on facebook! How sweet and kind is she? Ok guys, this gives me "more than" hope - I truly believe now in American's now since she's the first person who doesn't know me, isn't related to me, and by everyone's standards, having had a blog which turned into a book and eventually a movie would consider a person that probably wouldn't talk to a "nobody" (that would be me) but guess what? She did! and not only that - she even gave me suggestions and a little "how to use the computer for blogging". Though it went over my head naturally since I'm not computer savy at all, it was still a blessing to have her write me! Maybe this means that my dream of one day having Rosie O'Donnel write or talk to me one day happen too! I'm not putting limits to my dream of "making it America" - I also don't care that I'm a woman of a certain age (ah who cares, I'm now 50 and proud!) One day I'll be 60 and 50 will be but a past dream, so I'm going to make it all it can be! I'm a flight attendant who is 50 and loves everyone! How many people can honestly say that? I know I have this "odd" heart - this heart that doesn't seem to ever experience hate (not to say I don't feel anger, I do) but it usually turns to hurt and always goes back to love! I've never experienced hate (don't know what it feels like) and honestly don't want to know! I have a belief and a faith that surpasses anything else so why wouldn't this all come together for me one day! I know God's timing is NOT mine, and I know it's been 11 LONG years since my divorce and I've suffered more than I care to even share, but it's not stopped me from belieiving and it's certainly not stopped me from believing in the human race and their giving natures too! Why can't or won't I find one person who will extend a hand to me without some weird motive behind it? I know people are telling me to be careful, that men esp will want something in return (ok, sex) but I have to believe all I need to find is ONE good person and it doesn't have to be a man, look Julie wrote me back and she's certainly not a man! Of course I wrote her first, but how else would she even know I'm out here? She wouldn't so hence the singles sight to find that "one loving american". I could also look at women, but I wonder if they will think I'm hitting on them? I think I'll start with men trusting they'll see my heart and see I've a lot to offer! Who knows, I could be a sales person for someone and I know I'd be great at that since I proved it by working at LandRover only one day and selling 3 vehicles! Who does that? And the best part was I did that by being honest, loving, kind and of course HUGGING! So I could sell - I'm going to write a list of what I'm good at - ok, it's limited to hugging, loving, sharing and selling, but I could also run a business/store! I'm a hard worker and who wouldn't like to have their own business? Maybe a wine store (ok, a little dream there) or I could find that right person who will help me with my invention and make it a reality - once that's done heck, I could sell it to QVC (no problem) :) I have confidence, LOL (or I'm just in denial and speak like a crazy person) either way, it has to be a good thing right? I'm NOT a failure no matter what my ex husband may think or say, a failure is a person who gives up and dies - and I'm not dead yet! I believe, I pray, I try to "do" what I can and I'm searching this new avenue! It would be different if I came on line just to chat with strangers accomplishing nothing, but I'm not - and I thank Julie for writing me and for pursuing her venture as well - it worked for her, so why couldn't it work for me too? :)
Ok so this is what I did the rest of the day:
Yana - Editor
Ok so this is what I did the rest of the day:
I spent a good portion of my time on the singles sight looking for that "one great heart in America" to mentor me and I came across someone who said he was a consultant?
What's a consultant? I could do that! I'm a consultant on the planes - my passengers listen to me, they laugh with me, they always pay attention to what I have to share, and when I do the demo they always watch and applaud when it's done! Would I be a good consultant? How do I get to be one? Does it also mean I sell? I wonder what a consultant is?
This is getting fun - I even sent a message to a sergeon who said he also writes books and even made a screen play at Sundance (ok so the man has many talents) Can't wait to see if he responds to my e-mail. I wonder how many days, weeks or months will this be before I find that one person to reach out to me?
Now I'm starting to wonder, how many people really do have a great, loving, open and kind heart like me? I've always felt (not in an egotistical way) that I've never met another heart like mine until I started listening to Michael Jackson's share's. I believe he was very innocent on the inside, and had a pure (child-like) heart. I really do. I feel he may be the only one who has what I believe God gave me as a gift. I have sent probably in the first 4 days now at least 50 e-mails and so far only one person has made me an offer to work, but I think it would be working hard again and making little and keeping him wealthy. This isn't what I want any longer. I know I'm a hard/good worker - but I want to work smart and put in less effort and give love and bring home a LOT of money now so I can in turn help others. There has to be someone who will take me under their wing, there just has to be :)
I'm not giving up - besides I have Lana (my daughter) to fight for - she IS the reason for doing this deep down along with the foster children who I seem to love. I hope a stranger finds my blog and reads this too. I want to feel I'm making a difference to someone (even one). I'm believing in that too - FIND ME
Yana - Editor
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Day 3
Saturday's here and don't have to fly (yippie) and I'm still on the dating site trying to find that one person that will lead me to a great job! Ok, I don't want a job, I want a career - and I "believe" it's around the corner. I can't imagine flying for years (how do they do that?) I think I'd have to bail out of the plane if I continue with this crazy life. I love the passengers, it's the co-workers I get stuck with at times that's awful. Talk about some miserable people! So I'll keep working for my passengers and hoping to get this break I seek. In the meantime, my friend is following me (or at least I think she is) and I'll keep writing away in hopes that maybe on here that person shows up who can make a great suggestion or even want me to work with them in some fantastic position! (am I dreaming again?) I don't know - I wish I would have taken those risks when I was young like working in sales. My mom use to tell me never to do that because "one must get a paycheck to live" and how could I EVER live on commission? Well when you're young, you don't worry about those things and probably by now I'd be a millionaire! (or at least I'd be making a decent living) and she already gave the the biggest gift which was to save, save and save! All of us kids are good with our money and all of us save, so I can't even imagine how well off I'd be today if I would have followed my dreams. So today I'm thinking about my invention - YES - my invention. Here we go again, I have had this wonderful idea now in my mind for 30 years (pituful right) and haven't done anything with it. I have my friend who can make it for me on line and trust me, I've been on him for months and months, but this is an individual who is not motivated in my project or anything it seems in life. I have this awful feeling he may never get it accomplished, so do I just forget about that dream too? I can't! I've thought that maybe I should just try to find someone else, but who? (why does this have to be so difficult) -
Ok so then I think about Oprah who says to follow your passion and do that for a living! Well other than working as a greeter at Walmart who will pay me to hug them? LOL
I love to hug! I love to love people! I'm GREAT at my job because I love my passengers! I can disharm the worst passenger, make them smile and even laugh! That's a gift right? But how do I take that gift and make a million from it? If ONE PERSON could just answer that one, boy would I love them forever! -
So I'm left again with nothing but ideas and my ideas take money to make money. I even have a sister who is struggling so together we're two messes it seems. I come up with great business ideas (like starting a wine bar which is a 'tasting bar') and also selling bottles, but you need so much money to start any business let alone one that also takes getting a license for. Who do I know who can invest in us? Oh yea, no one, LOL that's who -
When I got to finally spend a few days with my brother in Miami Beach (yes, I have a brother who lives in paradise) and he drives me by those multi-million dollar homes, and high rises, all I can think is, what on earth do these people do to live this way? My mind thinks they're all drug dealers, but I'm sure even in that area there must be competition, LOL - but I can't give up the hope - without hope we die - damn
So today I'm sitting here, wondering, dreaming, thinking, chatting and now typing hoping something big will pop into my mind or someone will pop into my life and give me a hand. Am I living in a dream world thinking there really could be one person out there who is wealthy and would be willing to reach out to me? I'm not a person they'd be gambling on, because I know I have high work ethics, a great heart and am a hard worker, but I'm NOT related and would or could there really be someone like me out there who will just do it out of love and kindness? That IS the Big Question and we'll continue to see - I'm not a gambler, but I'm betting on the heart! All I need is ONE GOOD PERSON - and this person will take time maybe to find, but when I do! (smiling)
Ah the possibilities - the dreams and hopes -
I have a little girl that keeps me believing - and I hope if anyone starts reading this I will also spur them on. I love giving so I hope people will find me on here and I can give that if nothing else to them. I "DO KNOW" the power of giving and the blessings that come from it, so I hope they find me so I can do just that - give to the reader!!!!!
This is not wasted thoughts! FIND ME PEOPLE
:)
Yana - Editor
Ok so then I think about Oprah who says to follow your passion and do that for a living! Well other than working as a greeter at Walmart who will pay me to hug them? LOL
I love to hug! I love to love people! I'm GREAT at my job because I love my passengers! I can disharm the worst passenger, make them smile and even laugh! That's a gift right? But how do I take that gift and make a million from it? If ONE PERSON could just answer that one, boy would I love them forever! -
So I'm left again with nothing but ideas and my ideas take money to make money. I even have a sister who is struggling so together we're two messes it seems. I come up with great business ideas (like starting a wine bar which is a 'tasting bar') and also selling bottles, but you need so much money to start any business let alone one that also takes getting a license for. Who do I know who can invest in us? Oh yea, no one, LOL that's who -
When I got to finally spend a few days with my brother in Miami Beach (yes, I have a brother who lives in paradise) and he drives me by those multi-million dollar homes, and high rises, all I can think is, what on earth do these people do to live this way? My mind thinks they're all drug dealers, but I'm sure even in that area there must be competition, LOL - but I can't give up the hope - without hope we die - damn
So today I'm sitting here, wondering, dreaming, thinking, chatting and now typing hoping something big will pop into my mind or someone will pop into my life and give me a hand. Am I living in a dream world thinking there really could be one person out there who is wealthy and would be willing to reach out to me? I'm not a person they'd be gambling on, because I know I have high work ethics, a great heart and am a hard worker, but I'm NOT related and would or could there really be someone like me out there who will just do it out of love and kindness? That IS the Big Question and we'll continue to see - I'm not a gambler, but I'm betting on the heart! All I need is ONE GOOD PERSON - and this person will take time maybe to find, but when I do! (smiling)
Ah the possibilities - the dreams and hopes -
I have a little girl that keeps me believing - and I hope if anyone starts reading this I will also spur them on. I love giving so I hope people will find me on here and I can give that if nothing else to them. I "DO KNOW" the power of giving and the blessings that come from it, so I hope they find me so I can do just that - give to the reader!!!!!
This is not wasted thoughts! FIND ME PEOPLE
:)
Yana - Editor
Friday, November 13, 2009
Friday the 13th (love that)
Ok day two and "had to fly" (reserve flight attendant) but only to New York and back and my first thought was "ok, maybe this mentor I seek will be right here on this plane" but the flight was so short, we didn't even do a service, so I just sat in the back on the plane and read a book.
I think this finding a mentor idea may be a tad harder than I thought. How do I really find one? Well let me tell you what I started yesterday besides this blog. I put myself on a singles site (yes, singles site) since I thought that I could just be honest and place my profile out there saying how I'm looking for this wonderful mentor. I can chose any (and all) states if I like, and I can glance at their profiles and anyone that is not in the corporate world, seems very interesting, says they have their own business, or they're in sales, or them seem to have knowledge I seek, I simply write them! Well - let me tell you what I must have written at least 20 nice people and I will say this much, so far everyone has truly been kind to me. I haven't found that "one person" who has offered any assistance, but this is terrific! Let me tell you about one that I just wrote to this evening - this nice guy wrote me back, spoke truth about how he views the way the economy is going, was very open and honest with me, but then I have to also have to say, he has wisdom but he's British, LOL
ok - so I still haven't found even "one American" who's extending a hand yet with knowledge, wisdom or a way to get out of my situation, but I still have faith! In the meantime, I feel I've made a friend or two and it's showing me that we're all connected more than we realize. When you sit at home, cry and worry you feel like the world is passing you by. You start to wonder what you're living for and where you fit in, but when you reach out (even if it's on a computer) you may see that people do care and there are some real genunine nice ones out there. I know I've gone through so much trama that it left me (for a while) wondering if anyone really cared. I mean lets get real with this, if you're not "family" and related, why would anyone really care - or why would they offer real help? I've always hoped that people would get past that silly notion that you have to be related through blood as they say, but if they had any sense at all they'd see that every time someone marry's they're "not blood"! So what's the difference? I guess since my parents married in Greece and came to America I've never experienced having real relatives other than my siblings, so I really attached to my friends in a deep way. I felt they were really family to me and it's stayed like that with me. I feel that love for so many people and again, that must be a gift from God and a blessing. I must tell you, I made friends with the nicest woman about 6 years ago. She took a while to really open up fully with me and eventually shared why it took her so long. I found out after we were close that she and her husband had money (I could honestly care less). I truly love everyone equally, but she explained that anytime she thought she had a friend, they ended up using her or wanting something from them both (sad right). Well thank God she saw my heart and we became close friends. Well long story short, they got involved with that Madolff situation and lost everything (I mean everything, money, their businesses and even their home in the end). They literally had to uproot from beautiful Florida to Alaska where they are today still. Her husband is trying hard to work and put a roof over their heads while she lies on her back needing surgery. I tell you this so you can see reality of what "blood" DOESN'T DO. She has a father and two sisters and ALL have turned their backs on them - YES - they did! (and what's pitiful is her father has well over a million in the bank). Here I am, struggling (have been for 11 years) haven't even been able to give my little girl a Christmas yet, and fearing losing what little we have, so I admit, I will try to save every dime that I make and though I didn't have much, I (not her family) helped her twice financially (yes, with MONEY) and never thought anything about doing it either. She didn't have to ask, I knew she had nothing, she had a son also to feed and they are having hardship, period. Isn't that when family is "suppose" to jump in and help? Isn't that when she should have heard "it'll all be fine, don't worry your family is here for you" especially since she's been giving to all of them for years? NO - it wasn't like that. Rather, when they lost it all her family turned their backs on them! I was totally shocked to be honest and I hurt with her, but I don't believe that blood matters, we're all human which makes us all family! So I've done what I could do and that's why I feel that there just has to be others (even if it's one) like me out there. All it takes is one person like me with a heart of gold right? Someone who doesn't care that I'm not blood related and extends their hand to me. It doesn't have to be some rich person sending me money like I did for my friend (though wouldn't that just be a major blessing) but I've always heard that "the rich don't do that" so for whatever reason, I've believed that one, but I do think that someone will guide me, or even see my potential, my heart and my outgoing personality and want me to work for them or lead me to finding that 'career' not a job where I can actually make money and live like the rest of the country does (without fears). I just BELIEVE (my favorite word) - do you think I should get a tatoo somewhere hidden with that word? Ok, maybe that's just too weird, but God says to believe and even those who don't have God say they can "believe something in" so it's a powerful thought to have! Lets all believe this day that we'll all have miracles happen! Believe with me because it's not about me making it back to Greece (though it would be nice) to see relatives before they all pass away, it's about my children that I adopted who need a mom who can take care of herself and it's about my little girl who deserves a Christmas since she's never once asked me for a thing (I know) she's more than an angel. I know she's not perfect, but darn it, she's close and I'm blogging for God sakes to try to get ahead - and there's not much I wouldn't do to try and find that career! So day 2 was not a wasted flight - it was a day of looking out of the plane, seeing the beauty of the land and "BELIEVING" I will one day be able to afford to be one of the passengers going on vacation! This is America after all right?
Right - Hugs!!!
Yana - Editor
I think this finding a mentor idea may be a tad harder than I thought. How do I really find one? Well let me tell you what I started yesterday besides this blog. I put myself on a singles site (yes, singles site) since I thought that I could just be honest and place my profile out there saying how I'm looking for this wonderful mentor. I can chose any (and all) states if I like, and I can glance at their profiles and anyone that is not in the corporate world, seems very interesting, says they have their own business, or they're in sales, or them seem to have knowledge I seek, I simply write them! Well - let me tell you what I must have written at least 20 nice people and I will say this much, so far everyone has truly been kind to me. I haven't found that "one person" who has offered any assistance, but this is terrific! Let me tell you about one that I just wrote to this evening - this nice guy wrote me back, spoke truth about how he views the way the economy is going, was very open and honest with me, but then I have to also have to say, he has wisdom but he's British, LOL
ok - so I still haven't found even "one American" who's extending a hand yet with knowledge, wisdom or a way to get out of my situation, but I still have faith! In the meantime, I feel I've made a friend or two and it's showing me that we're all connected more than we realize. When you sit at home, cry and worry you feel like the world is passing you by. You start to wonder what you're living for and where you fit in, but when you reach out (even if it's on a computer) you may see that people do care and there are some real genunine nice ones out there. I know I've gone through so much trama that it left me (for a while) wondering if anyone really cared. I mean lets get real with this, if you're not "family" and related, why would anyone really care - or why would they offer real help? I've always hoped that people would get past that silly notion that you have to be related through blood as they say, but if they had any sense at all they'd see that every time someone marry's they're "not blood"! So what's the difference? I guess since my parents married in Greece and came to America I've never experienced having real relatives other than my siblings, so I really attached to my friends in a deep way. I felt they were really family to me and it's stayed like that with me. I feel that love for so many people and again, that must be a gift from God and a blessing. I must tell you, I made friends with the nicest woman about 6 years ago. She took a while to really open up fully with me and eventually shared why it took her so long. I found out after we were close that she and her husband had money (I could honestly care less). I truly love everyone equally, but she explained that anytime she thought she had a friend, they ended up using her or wanting something from them both (sad right). Well thank God she saw my heart and we became close friends. Well long story short, they got involved with that Madolff situation and lost everything (I mean everything, money, their businesses and even their home in the end). They literally had to uproot from beautiful Florida to Alaska where they are today still. Her husband is trying hard to work and put a roof over their heads while she lies on her back needing surgery. I tell you this so you can see reality of what "blood" DOESN'T DO. She has a father and two sisters and ALL have turned their backs on them - YES - they did! (and what's pitiful is her father has well over a million in the bank). Here I am, struggling (have been for 11 years) haven't even been able to give my little girl a Christmas yet, and fearing losing what little we have, so I admit, I will try to save every dime that I make and though I didn't have much, I (not her family) helped her twice financially (yes, with MONEY) and never thought anything about doing it either. She didn't have to ask, I knew she had nothing, she had a son also to feed and they are having hardship, period. Isn't that when family is "suppose" to jump in and help? Isn't that when she should have heard "it'll all be fine, don't worry your family is here for you" especially since she's been giving to all of them for years? NO - it wasn't like that. Rather, when they lost it all her family turned their backs on them! I was totally shocked to be honest and I hurt with her, but I don't believe that blood matters, we're all human which makes us all family! So I've done what I could do and that's why I feel that there just has to be others (even if it's one) like me out there. All it takes is one person like me with a heart of gold right? Someone who doesn't care that I'm not blood related and extends their hand to me. It doesn't have to be some rich person sending me money like I did for my friend (though wouldn't that just be a major blessing) but I've always heard that "the rich don't do that" so for whatever reason, I've believed that one, but I do think that someone will guide me, or even see my potential, my heart and my outgoing personality and want me to work for them or lead me to finding that 'career' not a job where I can actually make money and live like the rest of the country does (without fears). I just BELIEVE (my favorite word) - do you think I should get a tatoo somewhere hidden with that word? Ok, maybe that's just too weird, but God says to believe and even those who don't have God say they can "believe something in" so it's a powerful thought to have! Lets all believe this day that we'll all have miracles happen! Believe with me because it's not about me making it back to Greece (though it would be nice) to see relatives before they all pass away, it's about my children that I adopted who need a mom who can take care of herself and it's about my little girl who deserves a Christmas since she's never once asked me for a thing (I know) she's more than an angel. I know she's not perfect, but darn it, she's close and I'm blogging for God sakes to try to get ahead - and there's not much I wouldn't do to try and find that career! So day 2 was not a wasted flight - it was a day of looking out of the plane, seeing the beauty of the land and "BELIEVING" I will one day be able to afford to be one of the passengers going on vacation! This is America after all right?
Right - Hugs!!!
Yana - Editor
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Day ONE - Nov 12, 2009
Ok well here I go - Day one - and so much to say so if you like reading, you've found the right "home" to come to. Lets go on this journey together ok (whoever you are). I watched the movie Julie/Julia this past weekend which gave me the idea to come on here and find that ONE person in America who "like me" has a heart of gold and would love to reach out, guide, mentor or perhaps even open a door for me to walk thru so I can become "that American" dream which I always thought was a person who never had worry! With God alone, I can have His peace, let me make that clear and if you'd like to know more about the Lord, I am your person to come to and I do love helping others and would be more than happy to help you find Him. I know myself I looked for years, and always "wanted to believe" but guess what? It's true, He IS ALIVE and He will reveal Himself to you on a personal level (I know, mind blowing isn't it?) but it's true and it seems that it's people like me "greeks" or those wonderful catholics who have been denied this truth and how to attain a one on one access to Him (though we all believe in the trinity since our churches preach that). Amazing how close we are, but how lost we can still be - so if it's God you seek, please write me ok? I LOVE sharing how you can know 100% He's here and alive and how you can not only find Him for today, but know in your heart that you WILL be in heaven with Him one day too! Ok, now back to me and this idea I got from the movie (which by the way, I found the girl Julie on facebook and sent her a note yesterday, but she's not responded yet) am I surprised? - Oh well, it's ok, this is what I've encountered my entire life actually, people are nice to a degree, but to really care, really extend a hand as I do, well. . . I'm sad to say, I've not found that. Don't get me wrong, I do have a couple of GREAT and yes, giving friends - esp my friend Joyce and I know she'd help me if she could, but she's not in a position to do so, but she does have a heart of gold and she's always been there for me and always blesses me with gifts, taking me to eat out and things like that! I don't want a thing from her (I truly love her purely) but she's just a nice person, and I know if I could bless others financially (which is the goal here) I would. I try to bless EVERYONE I encounter each day. I'm a flight attendant, so imagine how many hugs I give in a day! LOTS - and I love it. What's really heartbreaking is when I hear over and over how much it meant to that person who perhaps hadn't received one in years :(
Talk about breaking ones heart right? But it's so true and I don't get it considering most Americans do have relatives - so where are the hugs for these wonderful people? Maybe I can touch others in ways even I've not realized by doing this blog - maybe I will stir your heart if anything sounds like you and you'll want to change a little, give a little and more than that, LOVE a little! I'm about LOVE. I believe it's a gift from God no doubt, but it's something we can all chose as well. I have this way about me that honestly even I don't understand, I just LOVE (purely) and I don't even know if I can explain it, but I'll give you an example - I've been abused (yep) by my ex husband over and over since our divorce 11 years ago, and don't get me wrong, when he does something evil (yep evil) I get angry, but here's the odd part, it leaves me very quickly and again my heart fills with Love for him. I do the same with everyone! You can hurt my feelings and sure, I cry and take it to heart, but I do NOT ever experience anger which can lead to hate (what's that?) I've no clue because I can't seem to feel that emotion I hear so much about. It's not in me, and I believe for whatever reason God has "gifted" me with a pureheart (something I've not found in another human being yet, but believe Michael Jackson truly had it) and I've never experienced hate. So with that, let my story be told and I'll start it later or tomorrow (I don't want to over type and bore anyone) and I do hope I get followers and I also hope my sharing will bless you! This is about giving still for me and like I said, I may not be able to yet give financially as I wish, I can still give in so many other ways as I do each day I go outside, I can Hug you (even this way thru the computer), I can share, I can encourage, I can lead, teach, preach, mentor and be there for you! I am doing this with a self'less' heart ok? This is NOT about me just finding that one other good hearted person who is able to assist me finally find a real career (though it's one of the goals for sure) it's not the only reason I'm here - I put you before myself my love and with time if you hang around, I pray you see one thing alone - my heart :)
Hugs to everyone! And as you know, I'm greek and we are 'a loving people' so as I say to my passengers on the planes, "today you too are greek" which means today we ALL have hearts of gold, lets all work on blessing someone else in ways we can, starting with a hug!
Please write me - I would love feedback!
Yana
Yana - Editor
Talk about breaking ones heart right? But it's so true and I don't get it considering most Americans do have relatives - so where are the hugs for these wonderful people? Maybe I can touch others in ways even I've not realized by doing this blog - maybe I will stir your heart if anything sounds like you and you'll want to change a little, give a little and more than that, LOVE a little! I'm about LOVE. I believe it's a gift from God no doubt, but it's something we can all chose as well. I have this way about me that honestly even I don't understand, I just LOVE (purely) and I don't even know if I can explain it, but I'll give you an example - I've been abused (yep) by my ex husband over and over since our divorce 11 years ago, and don't get me wrong, when he does something evil (yep evil) I get angry, but here's the odd part, it leaves me very quickly and again my heart fills with Love for him. I do the same with everyone! You can hurt my feelings and sure, I cry and take it to heart, but I do NOT ever experience anger which can lead to hate (what's that?) I've no clue because I can't seem to feel that emotion I hear so much about. It's not in me, and I believe for whatever reason God has "gifted" me with a pureheart (something I've not found in another human being yet, but believe Michael Jackson truly had it) and I've never experienced hate. So with that, let my story be told and I'll start it later or tomorrow (I don't want to over type and bore anyone) and I do hope I get followers and I also hope my sharing will bless you! This is about giving still for me and like I said, I may not be able to yet give financially as I wish, I can still give in so many other ways as I do each day I go outside, I can Hug you (even this way thru the computer), I can share, I can encourage, I can lead, teach, preach, mentor and be there for you! I am doing this with a self'less' heart ok? This is NOT about me just finding that one other good hearted person who is able to assist me finally find a real career (though it's one of the goals for sure) it's not the only reason I'm here - I put you before myself my love and with time if you hang around, I pray you see one thing alone - my heart :)
Hugs to everyone! And as you know, I'm greek and we are 'a loving people' so as I say to my passengers on the planes, "today you too are greek" which means today we ALL have hearts of gold, lets all work on blessing someone else in ways we can, starting with a hug!
Please write me - I would love feedback!
Yana
Yana - Editor
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
